They Walk Among Us!

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bob.hewson
NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular
TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst
use of lifelines ever.'
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with
a typically easy initial $100 question.
The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) A Car

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all-consuming panic as she did not
readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira
did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger,
an elephant or the moon.
However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'OK, I got an important question.
Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice.
'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98%
in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.'
Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans.
'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see...
I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front
yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without
anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too
mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!
-------------------------------------

I stopped at McDonald's and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said:
'would you like fries with that?'
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends
when someone shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!'
Somebody else looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

They walk among us!
----------------------------------------------------------

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
estate agent which direction was north because
he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
and has for some time. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
cafeteria,when we overheard an admin girl talking
about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd
get sunburned because the car was moving'.

They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is
designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone
and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces;
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

They Walk Among Us!

And last, but not least:
A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a CONGRESSMAN happened to appear. The CONGRESSMAN took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' He asked, 'how you detect a mental
deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should
answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'

'What sort of question?' asked the CONGRESSMAN.

Well, you might ask 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

The CONGRESSMAN thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh,
'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?
I must confess I don't know much about history.'
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Past Member
Too true, too typical, too sad ... to laugh much. I keep wanting the world to be different and it just isn't.
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gutenberg
Hi bob: although it hurts to laugh, the smile you brought was worth a lot of gold in either case, Ed
Lobster
I was in a well known burger chain and the girl in front of me ordered a lemonade and a diet coke. She was handed the two cups with the virtually transparent lids on and she asked

"Which one is the lemonade?"

The server did a quick visual check through the lids and pointed to the lemonade "that one"

"Thankyou" the girl said and went away.

The server then looked at me with a shrug of 'these things happen'.

They walk among us.
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