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"Larry, the Cable Guy"

Posted by gutenberg, on Fri Jan 18, 2013 7:42 pm








Direct Quote from "Larry, the Cable Guy"

"Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints,
I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes,
that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I
disagree with that assessment.. Anybody that would build a city
5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with
Democrats or Republican’s, depending on your political bent,
who can't swim is a genius."


THIS CABLE GUY HUMOR IS FUNNY BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS TRUE! THE MANS A GENIUS!!!









Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . .. .. . Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.








* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Think about this:













1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

COWS:













Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION:













They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ....
why don't we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
it has worked for over 200 years,
and we're not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS:













The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this --
you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie'
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians,
it creates a hostile work environment.

Also, think about this .....













If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

GIT ER DONE

Ed
Reply by mild_mannered_super_hero, on Sun Jan 20, 2013 12:14 pm
love it..!!
Reply by christiesdad, on Sun Jan 20, 2013 1:27 pm
Hey,
Could Larry be this generation's Mark Twain or Will Rogers?
Reply by gutenberg, on Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:19 pm
Yo CD, speaking of Will Rogers, here are a few of his profound thoughts:


Never squat with your spurs on... Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of thegreatest political sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.5. Always drink upstream from the herd.6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.Ed
Reply by bob.hewson, on Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:53 am
I always thought I was blessed then I read your post and as I live in Australia and not the States, I know I am blessed.

Thank you.

Bob
Reply by gutenberg, on Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:43 pm
Hey Bob, as I live in Canada and get a lot of my material from a dear lady in Australia and I could go on and on, but suffice it to say I feel I'm blessed just knowing our down under friends, Ed  

  
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