Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates 20,338 members

OK. I'm "talking"

Posted by iMacG5, on Sun May 29, 2016 5:00 pm

If this is a website for ostomates needing or offering help with others familiar with this whole process, why would we have topics like “Let’s talk” or “Questions NOT related to ostomy”.  Well I think the developers of this site demonstrated some insightful perception of what might be good for us.  The time I spent posting or replying to stuff unrelated to our condition is time I wasn’t thinking about our condition and while not thinking about it I was unaware of it.  “Just for Laughs” is terrific but I know some folks found it difficult to find humor of any kind, in any place early on.  I love it and look forward to your contributions.

There’re lots of things to “talk” about even stuff like my excessive use of quotation marks.  There are insurance issues, government assistance here in the USA compared to the UK, Canada, Australia and other places.  We could discuss what we’ve learned about folks who really care and those who don’t give a crap; those that make believe and those who became more scared than we were.  

Talking is good for me.  Often it’s better than thinking.  Talking without thinking still doesn’t work regardless of how hard I try.

To all, stay well or be good or both.



Reply by Bill, on Mon May 30, 2016 1:15 pm

Hello Mike. It is as you say. If you are thinking or talking about something other than stomas and their associated problems, then you have been distracted 

It is as you say. If you are thinking or talking about something other than stomas and their associated problems, then you have been distracted. This may or may not be a good thing but if it helps some people then it must surely be a worthwhile exercise. For those who do not want to take part in such an exercise then there are always the mainstream topics to join in with. There is even a 'logoff' button for those who can't find it in themselves to take part at times when they would rather be doing something else.  


I never noticed  your excessive use of """""""""""""""quotation marks""""""""""""""""!

Best wishes


Reply by iMacG5, on Mon May 30, 2016 2:54 pm

Hi Bill.  You obviously get it.  Thanks.


Reply by elisabeast, on Tue May 31, 2016 9:10 am

I think distraction is a good thing...I have severe ptsd because of this condition...I'm hard to distract because of it, but I love it when you can or can make me laugh.

Reply by iMacG5, on Tue May 31, 2016 4:30 pm

Hey Eli, thanks for stopping by.  You've been through a lot of the crap we all experienced and maybe even more.  I respect your comments and I think we all learn from folks like you.  

I think laughter is about the greatest medicine even if it doesn't last forever.  I remember the days when we laughed so hard we had snot flying out of our noses and who knows what out of other orifices.  Let's look forward to the next time we can darn near laugh our butts off.


Reply by iMacG5, on Tue May 31, 2016 5:14 pm

So for some unknown reason I found a nearly year old post entitled “meetanostomate”.  I started it and Don, Vulcan and Marsha had lots to say.   Judi suggested Facebook while addressing the essence of my thoughts.  It was all good and IMHO, was the exact kind of diversion that allowed me to stop dwelling on my misfortunes for a bit and redirect my interests.  I know we can sometimes write stuff that might offend another but I want to think that’s accidental or, at worst, a little careless.  Heck, with all we have going on at times it’s a wonder we’re able to sit at the keyboard and find words that might interest someone let alone have the courage to actually send it. 

Anyhow, I just wanted to thank all you guys for pitching in to offer a thought or two and I look forward to learning and sharing all we have to offer.



Reply by elisabeast, on Tue May 31, 2016 9:21 pm

I make a lot of bad ostomy cracks on twitter...I don't find I talk all that well, but I can vent prolifically on there about walking down the street with my bag hanging out...

Reply by lavern, on Tue May 31, 2016 10:24 pm

Those moments during the day when I realize that I have not thought about my stoma or worrying about finding a bathroom are few but feels so good!!

I just "celebrated" (couldn't resist) my two-year anniversary of having a permanent illeostomy, or as my niece said last night, "we are celebrating your poop bag!" 

I've been told that over time it gets easier and that I will accept it.  I'm feeling positive, but still waiting.........

This is the first time I have felt the urge to participate in a conversation, so I thank you very much! 

Maybe this is my first step?

Reply by elisabeast, on Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:30 am

Welcome and thank you for speaking out.  Eliz

Reply by iMacG5, on Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:09 pm

Hey Lavern, happy anniversary and thanks so much for joining us.  It does get easier over time because we learn from others and, mainly, because we just do whatever to make it easier. I think we learn how to handle the physical parts of our new selves more quickly and more easily than the emotional and psychological.  But we do it in time; sometimes with some help. There's so much help here.  Just reading about how others handle their golf games, the movies, dinners with friends, and all those other events we could or should be involved in has been priceless.  Yeah, sometimes the reality of our medical situation causes a pause in our fun time but we get it fixed and get over it.  It's really nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be and, for most of us, a blessing.



Reply by vulcanBMk2, on Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:32 pm

Some of my ramblings & music can be quite boring & even sarcastic  ---But I do love snippitts of information from all parts of the world . I find this site not only informative but also educational ......Now then did I ever tell you about me & the one eyed Barmaid.........

Reply by iMacG5, on Thu Jun 02, 2016 4:44 pm

Hi Vulcan.  If it's in the center of her forehead, I think I know her.  Probably not as well as you because I had a Studebaker that was no competition for your Jag.


Reply by vulcanBMk2, on Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:53 pm

Mike ...No probs with Studebaker  great name in the world of Classic cars . Never did see that many in UK  but knew all about them,, Champion , Avanti, Hawk , Lark etc ....Magical names .....

Reply by iMacG5, on Fri Jun 03, 2016 5:06 pm

Hi Vulcan.  My Dad had '47 stick shift Champion with a hill holder and a '56 President.  Thanks for the beautiful pictures.


Reply by Immarsh, on Sun Jun 05, 2016 5:03 am

Thank you Mike, for posting a suggestion to help us get to know each other better.   Although we all, "old timers" or newbies have ostomy issues at times, we are more than our ostomy.    This has been a very difficult 2 1/2 years for me, with events unrelated to ostomy causing undo stress, leading to ptsd.   I didn't understand what was happening, and kept thinking that the nightmares, anxiety, change of personality, irritability , sleeplessness etc...."would go away , eventually".   Last August, I realized it was only getting worse, and I did need help.  Sometimes, we're so far down the well, that we don't see the forest for the trees.   With help, in less than a year, I'm coping with my deamons, and am recovering from the worst of the symptoms.   Just because we have an ostomy, doesn't make us immune from other life, emotional, or personal.  Today I splurged and ordered  2theater tickets for myself, one for a matinee, and another for an evening performance on the same day.  I call is my tourist day in NY.   It's been a long time since I've done this......mostly because being out of the house for extended time was just too difficult to contemplate.   Instead of dreading being out.....I'm looking forward to .....looking forward.   And all the above has nothing to do with my ostomy.   So for those who are "down in the dumps" and feel they can't move forward.....I'm offering some free advice.    Face your fears...and anxieties, cry when you have to, do deep breathing to get you through the anxiety attacks, and know that you're stronger than any one issue.   Finding that positive focus, is a lot more productive, and a lot more work, than wallowing in sadness, for any reason.  It's just difficult to do the work....but worth it.     Best regards to all who read this.   I don't think I "know it all", but after 50+ years with an ostomy, I do know that other issues sometimes impact our well being....more than the ostomy.  


Next week, I begin treatment for the second time for Hepatitis C.  The last time  , 12 years ago, it involved intefuron and ribovarin and I spent a year enduring the horrible side effects.  In the end, the treatment didn't work.   I swore I'd never do it again, until treatment was 100% effective.  Now there is treatment that is supposedly 95% affective, and so I'm taking a chance on the 3 months of treatment.   I've had progressive liver disease from the Hep C  for the last 50 years ( from transfusions I had when I was sick)  and facing therapy now, at this time of my life is probably the most difficult decision I'me making.   I'm giving up another 3 months of my life to the the minimal " headaches, weakness, and fatigue that the new treatment causes"   So I'm looking forward to a summer of pampering myself with leisure and lots of pool & book time....

Live isn't always easy, but I'd rather have this than the alternative.   2014 & 2015 were not good years for me....but I hope that the second part of 2016 improves my quality of life.    

I hope this helps others who are stuffling with real life issues.... Thanks again Mike.....and all the others who post & reach out. 



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