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Lesson learned from this site

Past Member
Posted by Past Member, on Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:00 am

When I first signed up on this site a few months ago, I was totally devastated by what had happened to me...which I think is fairly normal.  What I didn't know was that I am actually lucky.  After reading some of the posts and talking to people, I realize that so many of you on this site are dealing with so much more than I am on a daily basis.  And you do it so WELL.  So much BETTER than I was dealing with things.  The courage, determination and spirit I have seen on this site has absolutely amazed me.  To say it's been inspirational is an understatement.  It has made me realize that I have been on a self-pity jag that there is no excuse for.  I have had my eyes opened and been taught a lesson that I really needed to learn.  It has helped put things in perspective for me and will certainly help me accept things and move on with my life.   I've gotten so much more from this site than I ever expected and I have all of you to thank for that.  The helpfulness, kindness and understanding I have experienced here is beyond anything I imagined.  Thank you all!  Linda

Reply by Angelicamarie, on Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:21 am

weirdnnewlife... A very heartwarming blog. You have touched me also. Ty.  Take care!


Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:48 am

Thank you Angel.  I meant every word of it and YOU have been a big part of it.

Reply by Mrs.A, on Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:06 pm

I agree Linda,

The folks here are like no other. Very understanding and patient. Many of us are blessed to find such a wonder group of people who will help each other through whatever issues we have.

If MAO wan't available I would be very sad!

Reply by Rosiesmom, on Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:52 pm

Hi weirdnewife, welcome. You have become a part of a very special group. Yes, we help and support each other. It is remarkable 

The things you learn here, including as my Mum used to say there is always some poor bugger worse of than you,(I grew up in Scotland) lol. Take care and again welcome.


Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:04 am

Thank you for the welcome, Rosiesmom.  Your "Mum" was right on!  There always seems to be someone worse off.  It took this site, though, for me to see it.  I'm glad I did.

Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:05 am

So true, Mrs. A.  They're a great group and I'm glad I found them.

Reply by CharK63, on Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:29 pm

Hi Wierd!

Youre absolutely right!

Hi Mrs A! How ya been? I looked for you but couldn’t find you in search. I’m doing good. Waiting for another hernia surgery any time. Waiting to see if I’ll ever be right again. 


Reply by CharK63, on Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:31 pm

Hi Wierd!

Youre absolutely right!

Hi Mrs A! How ya been? I looked for you but couldn’t find you in search. I’m doing good. Waiting for another hernia surgery any time. Waiting to see if I’ll ever be right again. 


Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:19 pm

Hi Charlotte,

Wish you luck on your surgery.  You'll be okay.  Ya gotta believe that!


aka "Weird"  lol

Reply by Mrs.A, on Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:43 pm

Hi Char,

Great to see a post from you. All is well and let us know when you have that surgery. Your already better that right, this will just help you see that~


Reply by collie123, on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:21 pm

Dear Linda,

i simply wanted to echo similiar thoughts. I went in for the removall of a cancer tumour and I woke up 12 hours later to be told  my bladder had to be removed  and that I had an Illuit Conduit; I sobbed like a baby! That was on the 21st March of this year.  I was in hospital for 5 weeks because my wonderful stoma nurses struggled to find a bag/ pouch that would fit. My stoma was situated in the crevice of my stomach.

Reading the experiences on the website has made me humble.

Given the fact that i am still reasonably independant I count my blessings.

You are all so brave



Reply by Seasaw, on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:14 pm
Hi Linda,
Thank you for your post.
Thank you for YOUR encouragement.
You Linda, are also an inspiration.
Your friend from...
Reply by Scout Finch, on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:22 pm

I am two weeks away from the reversal surgery and have been a bit surprised at how ambivalent I've felt since it was scheduled. Not to say there aren't incidents with my bag that have me asking, "Is it July 30th yet??" Obviously, it's not a love/hate relationship but it IS an okay/dislike relationship. When they told me I was going to have to have one for a few months (this was in November so it ended up being several), it seemed like such a major deal and I was so scared and angry and repulsed. I was also downright rude in the hospital to the ostomy nurse who insisted on showing me how to change the bag a few times. After the first two times, I demanded that she not be allowed to come in my room again because she was so unsympathetic. Of course, now I realize she handled it just the way she should have, and I sent her an email a couple of months ago letting her know how well I ended up doing and that despite my trying to ignore her, I did pick up most of what she had tried to teach me. Though, in my defense, at the time I was at the stage where I'd been in the hospital for over two weeks and also facing a short stay in a nursing home so I was a pain in the ass to nearly everyone, my mother included! 

Am I glad I got really sick from diverticulitus and ended up in the hospital needing major surgery? No...but yet I'm not sorry I had to go through this experience. As I've hiked and gone to concerts, I've gained so much more confidence about how this doesn't have to prevent me from doing anything. I honestly could handle it if it became permanent. It's basically just a big annoyance. I feel like I've learned so much about myself that I wouldn't have otherwise, such as how resilient I am by how quickly I adapted to this, to the point where I even crack jokes about it. Having a dark sense of humor is definitely a good thing in this situation. I also am incredibly squeamish and being able to overcome it in this situation makes me realize how capable I am. Not that I had a choice. I live alone and just had to accept it and get on with it.

I always thought of a colostomy bag as being something really revolting and this experience has made me confront that fact that I wouldn't have felt comfortable in a dating situation with a guy who had one and doubt I would ever have been able to get past that. It's not something I'm proud of but that has changed and it wouldn't faze me now.

All in all, sickness and pain leading up to it aside, I really am, dare I say, grateful to have gone through this?


Reply by freedancer, on Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:02 pm

I bet there is not one person on this site that hasn't been through the pity party!  I know I did, twice!  But because of this site and all the people here, I pulled through and now I can offer my opinion to others who have to go through it.  I am glad that you are doing better!  Pamela.

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