How to Help Ostomates Overcome Fear and Isolation?

May 13, 2024 1:45 pm

I've had an ileostomy for 5 1/2 years. I've had embarrassing accidents too, but agree with the person who said as you get older, less bothers you. I'm 67 and am in a pool 5 days a week for water aerobics and socializing. I've traveled all over the world. Always have supplies with me and extra clothes in the car or carry-on bag. This is my life, and after the health scare that brought me to my ileostomy, I intend to live my life fully.

May 13, 2024 2:02 pm

It was my husband's ostomy nurse who directed us to this online support group. It was one of the best things we did.

So, hopefully, hospital's ostomy nurses are doing this everywhere. Like she said, as nurses, we certainly know how to work with an ostomy, but these people live it every day. And she was so right. They helped us with numerous issues and fears we had.

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,972 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

May 13, 2024 4:40 pm
Reply to warrior

If it was advertising for a hearing aid company, it is a conflict of interest at UOAA, hospital, or a doctor's office. You need an inspiration to get moving. Only you can do it. Start by walking, longer and longer. Drive to an overnight location with everything you need in the car. Have a blast and get your mojo going. Add longer trips and finally, try flying.

May 13, 2024 6:31 pm

Here's my story of a leak. I went out on a date for the first time with “Joe.” We met in a very popular attraction downtown at a wine and cigar bar. We introduced ourselves and decided to sit outside on the brick-paved patio. We got to talking, and Joe told me he had COPD. I told him I wear a bag, and we both continued on with our getting-to-know-you discussion. I'm not a drinker, and so I wasn't used to the wine we were having. The more glasses of wine we had, the better of a time I was having. The second bottle arrived, and we had about finished that one when I thought I had better visit the restroom. Now, by this time of the date, you might say I was a tad tipsy. 🥴 I stood up, and my bag blew open with half-digested wine splashing on everything. People's shoes, clothes, tables, and of course, I was soaked. Well, being a tad tipsy, I threw out a $20 on the table and stumbled my way over the bricks (having flip-flops on was a huge disadvantage), making a tad tipsy person into a shoe-slipping, falling-off, walk across the street to my car and wet clothes (ick) very precarious. It was by then 5:30, and people were backed up looking for a place to park. Oh wait, there's a stumbling wet-clothed person getting into her car. Gadzooks. I opened the trunk first to get my spare towels out. One was going across the seat and another across my lap. Oivay. I rolled down the window, backed up very carefully, and navigated my way out of a busy, brick street. I know, I know, I know I shouldn't have driven. I'm a grandmother, I know. But, I did and made it home safely with my head hanging out the window and my cruise control on. Eeek. The next day, my first-time date called and asked if he could bring over a pizza to continue our interrupted date. He was a peach of a man. It didn't work out with us, but I'll never forget his kindness to me in a terribly messed up situation. By the way, he did mention he should have gotten me a cab.
What I'm trying to convey is to go out and live your life. Accidents happen. Be prepared with a spare change and hold your head up high. The end.

May 13, 2024 7:38 pm
Reply to yayas6gc

Mortified is the only word that comes to my mind - followed by “please dear God assure me I didn't give Joe my phone number or my last name”…..purple teeth are the worst! JB

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
May 13, 2024 7:50 pm

Hey Bob, rare as it may seem, I think I need to disagree with your reply to Alex's writing. His opinion “doesn't mean squat.” You agreed. My opinion is his opinion means something more than “squat” even though he's just one in several billion. So are you and so am I. Certainly, his opinion has meaning to him just as your opinion of his opinion has meaning to you. Bottom line is you agreed with Alex, though his opinion, in your opinion, like everyone else's opinions in your opinion, doesn't mean squat. That's just my opinion, and if you disagree, I'll certainly disagree with your opinion.

Any opinions on how I could waste time more efficiently?


May 13, 2024 9:23 pm
Reply to rlevineia

Nope, never said I ran the ad in that type of magazine.

The mag itself is all about deaf people. I'm sure hearing aid companies ran ads in these rags.

But I ran them for finding deaf people with IBD, not hearing aids.

Just a small ad in the back of the magazine.

May 13, 2024 9:30 pm
Reply to iMacG5

Write a letter in braille? Ha ha.

(A few hours later)...

At first, I would agree with you about how w30bob wrote that sentence out, but the word that trips me is "really." Had he not said really, I think it would have been less confusing. More accurate.

Bob is articulate. He knows what he is saying. What he wanted stressed. I had to read it a few times. Alex said his opinion doesn't mean squat. And I believe simply put, Bob felt it mattered. Everyone's squat mattered. No foul. No crime. No assaults on intelligence.

Interpretation can go either way if not having what matters in sight. (Whoa, I gotta write that down somewhere)😄.

May 14, 2024 3:23 am
Reply to Doe1mama

Hi Doe1,

That's interesting, as I've not met an ostomy nurse yet that was aware of this site. Hopefully, the word is getting out!


May 14, 2024 3:45 am
Reply to yayas6gc

That... wasn't a leak...

It was Mt. Fuji erupting. 😉...

You got your buzz on. Good for you.

May 14, 2024 7:51 am
Reply to iMacG5


Winnie The Pooh
May 14, 2024 11:34 am
Reply to Beachboy

Well, if the rumors are true, there may be an ostomy-enhanced person that could go public and make a difference - Kate Middleton, Princess/Countess/Marchioness of whatever.

Right now the general public's idea of ostomy is yuck! - just like mine was before it saved me from pushing up the daisies.

Having a very public (and liked) figure like her with a stoma could be game-changing.

My own attitude over 5 years has gone from worrying about going anywhere I might sweat and have it open, to not worrying because it doesn't, to thinking well if it does explode they'll be more upset than I will.

May 14, 2024 9:12 pm

I went into this ileostomy thing the opposite. I was happy and working. I bought support garments to feel comfortable. I had a bathroom bag with everything I needed to empty and a tiny emergency kit. I wore the thing with pride. Then at another job and the last 3 years of working, I was getting bullied for it. My bathroom bags were gotten into and gloves even stolen once. Not only that, but after my hernia surgery, my stoma went flat and my world collapsed. So I'm kind of backward. Happy at first and uncomfortable now. I told my doctor I will not go back to work ever after being bullied on jobs.

May 14, 2024 11:48 pm
Reply to warrior

Hey Jersey neighbor, I was just trying to be a little humorous using the word “opinion” about a dozen times in my silly reply. I love Bob's stuff and, certainly, almost everything from the "Trenton Makes, The World Takes" state.

Thanks, Warrior,


May 15, 2024 1:38 am
Reply to iMacG5

I'm a fan, Mike. No worries.

You overkilled that word "opinion." It was fine. Wordplay. But I admit, he had me at "really." I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Mamma said there'd be days like this, my mamma said.

Thanks for clarifying. All good.


May 19, 2024 4:32 pm

I must be getting a little senile... or did someone change the title of my topic? Didn't I title this one "A funny thing happened bla, bla, bla..." or something like that? And now it's "How to Help Ostomates Overcome Fear and Isolation?" I know I'd never use a boring title like that. What gives?


May 20, 2024 12:01 am
Reply to MizNola

You are the first person I've heard of that had nephrostomy tubes. My nephrostomy tube was horrible. Every breath I took was like having been stabbed in the back. I had 3 different surgeons, and they just couldn't get it to stay in place. I had it for several weeks until they could redirect and repair my ureter after a huge kidney stone.

Kudos to you for your resilience and attitude. May God continue to bless you.

May 20, 2024 1:16 am
Reply to w30bob

You... are... becoming... senile, bro. 😆

(Hey administrator... thanks. It's working.)

May 20, 2024 1:29 am
Reply to warrior

Ugh! Family... it's way overrated!