I have tried both the upfront reveal and the waiting game, and both are honest in my opinion. This is what I've learned over the past 40+ years living with my ostomy. I find that almost all people, male and female, are capable of quick and irrational judgment when faced with the upfront idea that a potential mate has an ostomy, even those that might be more open-minded when given adequate time to become emotionally invested. I advocate allowing some time to pass before discussing your condition. As has been stated above, getting to know someone a little better is a good idea. I've learned the personality types, in women, that are going to be more accepting of my condition, and I can usually tell, with a little time, which ones will or won't bolt when the big reveal happens! Online dating is the same, wait until you've met the person face to face and gotten to know them as live people and not some distant implied concept with the internet and distance between you. On the net, you can be anyone you want to be................it's much harder in person.
When the time comes, confidence is the key! Both men and women respond better to a confident person than the shy, timid, and reserved! The more they feel that your ostomy doesn't matter to you, the more it will not matter to them as well. If your ostomy is the constant focus of your time and attention, it will be for those around you. This is especially true during intimacy. It's difficult, but forget that it's even there and don't worry about it!
Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?
First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,630 members. Get inside and you will see.
It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.
Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.
Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.
Create an account and you will be amazed.
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Hollister
Talking about having an ostomy can be uncomfortable for most people. Still, it's something you can't always avoid.
Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.
Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.
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Hollister
We conducted a survey to better understand the impact that living with an ostomy has on sleep.
Learn the results of our ostomy sleep survey.
Learn the results of our ostomy sleep survey.