Dear Glendot,
Can you tell us what products/brands you are using?
As for me, the following is my normal procedure: First off, I use Hollister New Image flanges and bags, the kind (I can't think of the exact model number right off hand) that have a Velcro, fold over emptying drain at the bottom. I change my bag and flange every 4 to 5 days. I have never had to remove the bag to just clean my stoma. I only clean it on my changing days.
On the day of changing, I remove everything, use a stoma cleaning disposable moist wipe to get any residual sealing "putty" that may be left on my skin, then follow up with a paper towel to make sure I get as much of the putty off as I can.
Then, with no appliance on, I take a shower and use soap and water to thoroughly clean the area - not rubbing too hard, be gentle. (I might add that about every other changing session I must shave around the stoma) I have a paper towel torn in 1/4 sitting outside the shower which I put over the stoma just in case anything may start leaking out while I dry off with a towel (the wet skin keeps the paper towel attached).
I then use a hair dryer (which I already have plugged in ready to go since time is of the essence) to thoroughly dry the area around the stoma. Once the skin is good and dry, I use a very small amount of stoma powder on the skin around my stoma and then attach the new flange (I also have it ready to go with the putty ring attached to it). I make sure the flange material is secured to the skin well by using a light rubbing/massaging motion over the flange adhesive-backed material. Then I simply snap the new pouch on and hold my hand flat against the pouch over the stoma area for 1 minute. They told me at the Mayo Clinic this is "giving yourself a hug" and the warmth that is created helps the putty soften and adhere well to the skin.
I have never had any leakage through the flange fabric that adheres to the skin and I have never had the flange come loose, even while sweating. I do not use any additional tapes to hold the flange in place. I did have 1 incident shortly after my surgery when I went through a period when my bag would fill up (and almost burst) with air during the night where I knocked the bag off the flange while waking up one morning. This was before I found out I was supposed to wear the stretchable belt that attaches to the flange (I'm sorry, I meant to say attaches to the pouch). I have never had the bag come loose from the flange since.
I shower daily with the bag and flange in place with no problems of anything coming loose. After the shower, I use a hair dryer to thoroughly (as best as I can) dry the bag paying particular attention to the fabric backing on the bag, as well as the flange fabric.
Like WAB stated above, ask Hollister for some samples. Their customer service is some of the best I have ever dealt with.
Hope this helps.