Post-Op Anxiety and Depression: Seeking Advice and Support

I have been experiencing bouts of anxiety and depression lately. I'm 5 weeks post-op. I'm wondering if you have, what helped?
I am a Christian and have been praying and reading scripture, but I get weepy when I'm overwhelmed and have been feeling down and anxious about some weird symptoms I have been having. I also have been a bit worried about blockages and dehydration. I see my primary doctor on Friday. I am considering going on something for a bit, also to tell him about all my symptoms.
Thanks

Good morning from the East Coast!! Hi there. I noticed you've been posting quite a few threads, so that's good. 👍 You know the people are going to reply. 🤗 It's only a matter of time, and you said you would be seeing your primary care on Friday, and that's great! Unfortunately, the primary doesn't live with it, osty... we do... and well, I'm sure her knowledge will be limited, but your best way to get some questions answered is right here.

The anxiety and depression, I would think, are pretty common. Of course, you need somebody to talk to about that, somebody who will understand that, and again, you're going to find that here. So I'm wishing you all the best, and I hope you get the answers that you're looking for. Just stay strong, keep your chin up, and ask... we're here.

I've been told it's normal. I'm just wondering how long I can expect to feel like this. :/

I also guess I'm just scared that something is wrong.

What do you think is wrong?

It takes time to heal physically and mentally. I'm at one year post-op. I've healed physically, but still have a tough time mentally.

I visited old friends at Christmas. We've known each other since we were little kids. They were curious and wanted to hear about my hospital adventure. I told them, "It was hard." Then... BAM! I broke down sobbing. It really shocked me. All year, I have avoided any detailed recounting of getting sick, surgery, or ostomy. I start out OK, then instantly, it all vividly comes rushing back: pain, uncertainty, helplessness. It overwhelms me.

As soon as I start to discuss my colostomy, I can feel "it" coming on. So I quickly change the subject or make a little joke about my ostomy bulge.

I have written about my tale of woe on this website. That was hard. I got most of it out but glossed over darker details.

In conclusion, I don't know if we ever get over traumatic experiences like extreme sickness and life-altering surgery. It becomes part of who we are.

It does not define me. I'm as tough as ever. It's just a hidden life chapter I suppress.

Take it one day at a time. Write your symptoms down and list your concerns. When you visit the doctor, bring your list. It will help you stay focused and not get off track and forget something you wanted to discuss. Good luck.

Thank you, my social friend! Your words mean a lot to me. I do have my list.
I have been through a lot in my life. My son, now 15, was born 3 months early, and we spent 4 months in the NICU. He went through 7 surgeries and 10 hospitalizations in the year and a half after he came home. That was a lot. I coped by knowing everything, learning about all the machines and meds he was on. It was one day at a time, and we made it through. I guess it will eventually be the same. I will make it through.

Your surgery is very recent. Everything you're feeling is normal, and you're doing the right thing by saying how you feel instead of bottling it all up inside, trying to hide it like many do. You're doing better than you realize for admitting how you're feeling. It shows you're ready to start fighting back to living a happy life again.  

Talking is the best therapy if you ask me, whether on this site or to family and friends. I know it can be easier at times talking to someone you can't see. There will always be someone on this site to listen to you. 

That's great your son made it through all that and is now a teenager.

My wife was pregnant 6 times. Lost all of them at around 16 weeks.

Last 2 were twins (expensive IVF). Real excited, she called me at work to rush to the hospital where she was undergoing a 4D ultrasound fetal assessment. Took me 45 minutes to get there. I was looking at the monitor, and said, no audio? My wife said, "We were hearing the heartbeats a little while ago." I called the technologist in. She looked at the screen, turned it off. Said, "Sorry." I'm still not sure how it affected my wife. She never cried, never talked about it. She REALLY wanted a family. Now just has a cat and ultrasound pictures. And little old colostomy me... (booby prize).

I'm so sorry. That is heartbreaking. I experienced a loss as well; they called it a missed miscarriage. Heard the heartbeat at 8w 2d. I spotted at 11 weeks, went in, and the baby measured 8w 3d. My body didn't recognize the baby had passed. Then followed 2 more horrific weeks.
After months of fertility treatments, we decided to take a break, then ended up pregnant the next month on our own with our daughter.
I don't know why God allows us to go through difficulties like this. Maybe to show us He still has His hand on us through it all.

Till you convince yourself you're okay. The longer you sit and think about these things, the longer it'll take. I know by reading that you're pretty new to having this glorious accessory, but slowly and gradually get back to doing things and doing life. And if you are reading scripture and believe what you read, you know God (or whatever you call the dude you worship) has your back and you will be okay. He has you going through a process right now, take it one day at a time and you'll either come out ahead or you won't, that's the test/process. You know you're okay, he knows you're okay, now put his process/test that you're going through down and show him/yourself you are now better than what you were, it's that easy.

A cat and you? She is blessed.

It is perfectly normal for you to have these feelings. It is okay to mourn your loss of a body part. I am a Christian too, but we are not immune to these feelings. I hope you will continue to talk and post your feelings on here. We are all here for you.

Thank you, everyone, for your support.
I am normally a happy, optimistic person, but lately, I have moments of feeling just down. I've never dealt with depression, only anxiety. Now it's both. I cry at random and feel anxious to get through this time in my life. Trying to stay positive, but it's hard. And honestly, I don't like how my body feels now.

I was the same as you for 6 months post-op. I'm better now, but still cannot relate my medical adventure to anyone.

Hang in there.

I am about 7 odd months in. I have suffered in silence. There are some very good people on here with good advice. I will say, one day at a time, keep yourself occupied. For me, it's too late. I have me and my dog now. I have sat around feeling sorry for myself, and the consequences were my wife left me on New Year's Eve as I was showing her no affection because I had crawled into a hole. So the best advice is on here. You will get better one day at a time. x

I'm sorry you are going through that. That must be tough. My husband has been amazing; he has put up with a lot through my medical journey. I'm sorry your wife wasn't.

Thanks, bit rough. Always a light at the end of a dark tunnel. Left me for someone else, that's what hurt more. Still, it is what it is. Shake it off.

Hey JustMeRLB,

I'm sorry it's so hard, but it really is.

It was probably 4 to 6 months until I was stable mentally. Becoming an ostomate is a game changer and difficult to navigate as you heal physically and mentally. There is a lot of PTSD with these kinds of life-altering surgeries and hospital stays, so talk it out if you can.

In Alberta, I was offered free counseling with each consecutive cancer surgery (3 so far), and I have used the service all 3 times. I let the anger, self-pity, and vitriol out when talking to the counselor and apologized afterward for dumping it all on her lol. It was ugly but necessary.

It's not stuff you want to say to your kids, friends, or parents, but it has to come out because it's toxic to keep in. Once you have been able to express your fear and anger, you will once again gain control over your emotions. It's just a matter of time.

You can talk to us on this website whenever you need an ear. I'm told I give great hugs, probably the wingspan lol. Here is one for you.

Terri

Thank you, Terri,

I saw my primary doctor on Friday. He says it is not so much depression as it is anxiety.
So I'm working through it now. I see a therapist on Tuesday via video. I'm hoping that will be helpful.