Anxiety/depression

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JustMeRLB

I have been experiencing bouts of anxiety and depression lately. I’m 5 weeks post op. I’m wondering if you have , what helped? 
I am a Christian and have been praying and reading scripture, but I get weepy when I’m overwhelmed and have been feeling down and anxious about some weird symptoms I have been having. I also have been a bit worried about blockages and dehydration. I see my primary doctor on Friday, I am considering going on something for a bit. Also to tell him about all my symptoms. 
thanks

warrior

Good morning from the East Coast !! hi there.. I noticed you've been posting quite a few threads so that's good👍 you know the people are going to reply🤗 it's only a matter of time and you said you would be seeing your primary care on Friday and that's great!! unfortunately the primary doesn't live with it osty..we do...and well I'm sure her knowledge will be limited but your best way to get some questions answered is right here.. 

 the anxiety depression I would think it's pretty common.. of course you need somebody to talk to about that somebody who  will understand that and again you're going to find that here.. so I'm wishing you all the best and I hope you get the answers that you're looking for... just stay strong keep your chin up and ask... we're here

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JustMeRLB
Reply to warrior

I’ve been told it’s normal. I’m just wondering how long I can expect to feel like this. :/ 

 

JustMeRLB

I also guess I’m just scared that something is wrong. 

warrior
Reply to JustMeRLB

what do u think is wrong?

 
How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Beachboy

Takes time to heal physically and mentally.  I'm at one year post op.  I've healed physically... but still have a tough time mentally.

I visited old friends at Christmas.  Known each other since we were little kids.  They were curious and wanted to hear my hospital adventure.  I told em "it was hard."  Then.... BAM!  Broke down sobbing.  Really shocked me.  All year, I have avoided any detailed recounting of getting sick/surgery/ostomy.  Start out OK, then instantly, it all vividly comes rushing back.  Pain, uncertainty, helplessness. Overwhelms me.  

As soon as I start to discuss my colostomy,  I can feel "it" coming on.  So I quickly change the subject or make a little joke about my Ostomy bulge.

I have written about my tale of woe on this web site.  That was hard.  I got most of it out, but glossed over darker details.  

In conclusion, I don't know if we ever get over traumatic experiences like extreme sickness and life altering surgery. It becomes part of who we are. 

Does not define me... I'm as tough as ever... Just a hidden life chapter I suppress.  

Take it one day at a time.  Write your symptoms down and list your concerns.  When you visit the doctor, bring your list.  It will help you stay focused and not get off track and forget something you wanted to discuss.  Good luck

 

 

JustMeRLB
Reply to Beachboy

Thank you, my socal friend! Your words mean a lot to me. I do have my list. 
I have been through a lot in my life, my son, now 15, was born 3 months early and we spent 4 months in the nicu. He went through 7 surgery’s and 10 hospitalizations in the year and a half after he came home. That was a lot. I coped by knowing everything, learning about all the machines and meds he was on. It was one day at a time and we made it through, I guess it will eventually be the same. I will make it through. 

Ben38

Your surgery is very recent everything your feeling is normal and your doing the right thing saying how you feel instead of bottling it all up inside trying to hide it like many do, your doing better than you realise for admitting how your feeling it shows your ready to start fighting back to living a happy life again.  

Talking is the best therapy if you ask me whether on this site or to family & friends, I know it can be easier at times talking to someone  you can't see there will always be someone on this site to listen to you 

Beachboy
Reply to JustMeRLB

That's great your son made it though all that and is now a teenager.

My wife was pregnant 6 times.  Lost all of them at around 16 weeks. 

Last 2 were twins (expensive IVF).  Real excited, she called me at work to rush to the hospital where she was undergoing 4D ultrasound fetal assessment.  Took me 45 minutes to get there.  I was looking at the monitor, and said, no audio?  My wife said "We were hearing the heartbeats a little while ago."  I called the technologist in.  She looked at the screen, turned it off.  Said "Sorry."  I'm still not sure how it affected my wife.  She never cried, never talked about it.  She REALLY wanted a family.  Now just has a cat and ultrasound pictures.  And little old colostomy me....(booby prize).

JustMeRLB
Reply to Beachboy

I’m so sorry. That is heartbreaking.  I experienced a loss as well, they called it a missed miscarriage. Heard the heartbeat at 8 w 2 d . I spotted at 11 weeks… went in and baby measured 8w3d. My body didn’t recognize the baby had passed. Then followed 2 more horrific weeks. 
after months of fertility treatments we decided to take a break then ended up pregnant the next month on our own with our daughter.  
i don’t know why God allows us to go through difficulties like this. Maybe to show us He still has His hand on us through it all. 

AlexT
Reply to JustMeRLB

Til you convince yourself you’re ok. The longer you sit and think about these things, the longer it’ll take. I know by reading that you’re pretty new to having this glorious accessory, but slowly and gradually get back to doing things and doing life. And if you are reading scripture and believe what you read, you know God(or whatever you call the dude you worship) has your back and you will be ok. He has you going thru a process right now, take it one day at a time and you’ll either come out ahead or you won’t, that’s the test/process. You know you’re ok, he knows you’re ok, now put his process/test that you’re going thru down and show him/yourself you are now better than what you were, it’s that easy. 

kittybou
Reply to Beachboy

A cat AND you? She is blessed.

Morning glory

It is perfectly  normal for you to have these feelings. It is okay to mourn your loss of a body part. I  am a Christian  too, but we are not immune  to these feelings.  I  hope you will continue  to talk and post your feelings on here. We are all here for you. 

JustMeRLB

Thank you everyone for your support. 
I am normally a happy, optimistic person. But lately I have moments of feeling just down. I’ve never dealt with depression, only anxiety. Now it’s both. I cry at random and feel anxious to get through this time in my life. Trying to stay positive, but it’s hard. And honestly I don’t like how my body feels now. 

Beachboy
Reply to JustMeRLB

I was the same as you for 6 months post op.  I'm better now.  But still cannot relate my medical adventure to anyone.

Hang in there.

Mark1

I about 7 odd mths in I have suffered in silence there are some very good people on here with good advice I will say one day at a time keepnyour self occupied for me too late I have me and my dog now I have sat around feeling sorry for my self and the consequences were my wife left me new yrs eve as I was showing her no affection because I had crawled in to a hole so the best advise is on here you will get better one day at a time x

JustMeRLB
Reply to Mark1

I’m sorry you are going through that. That must be tough. My husband has been amazing, he has put up with a lot through my medical journey. I’m sorry your wife wasn’t. 

Mark1

Thanks bit rough always a light at the end of a dark tunnel left me for someone else that's what hurt more still is what it is shake it off 

terrizajdel

Hey JustMeRLB,

I'm sorry it's so hard but it really is.

It was probably 4 to 6 months until I was stable mentally. Becoming an ostomate is a game changer and difficult to navigate as you heal physically and mentally. There is a lot of PTSD with these kinds of life altering surgeries and hospital stays so talk it out if you can.

In Alberta I was offered free counselling with each consecutive cancer surgery ( 3 so far) and I have used the service all 3 times. I let the anger, self pity and vitriol out when talking to the counsellor and apologized afterwards for dumping it all on her lol. It was ugly but necessary.

Its not stuff you want to say to your kids, friends or parents but it has to come out because its toxic to keep in. Once you have been able to express your fear and anger you will once again gain control over your emotions. It's just a matter of time.

You can talk to us on this website whenever you need an ear. Im told I give great hugs, probably the wingspan lol . Here is one for you.

Terri

JustMeRLB

Thank you Terri, 

I saw my primary doctor on Friday, he says is not so much depression as it is anxiety. 
so I’m working though it now. I see a therapist on Tuesday via video. I’m hoping that will be helpful.