Hi Smiles, I would guess you have more than 61 of them. I am not an airman but I, for one, am very glad you responded. I can't resist, "some of my best friends are lesbians". I bet you have heard that one. I have said enough previously, so for now - thanks for expanding our education.
Carol
Well, you see, some of the warmth you get from some people, and unfortunately, the flat-out hatred you can get from others.
Cancer doesn't care either way, nor does it sit in judgment. It doesn't care about what you've done, or who you've done it with, and or how.
It's called "Cancer," not "let's put someone down" or "make jokes because you disapprove." Cancer doesn't care if you're straight, gay, black, white, or any shade in between. It doesn't care if you're old and crotchety without an ounce of respect towards your fellow human being, just like it doesn't care if you're a bouncing newborn baby. It doesn't care if you've lost parts, your sense of taste, touch, sight, or smell. It doesn't care about your wife, your husband, your daughter, your son, your boyfriend, girlfriend, your soulmate, or your friends. It's called "Cancer," and just like the many different people within this group, it comes in many, many different forms, shapes, and sizes, and it simply doesn't care.
You would think that for those who have lost any of the aforementioned, the tiniest bit of respect, kindness, and consideration would be a given?
Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?
First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,465 members. Get inside and you will see.
It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.
Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.
Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.
Create an account and you will be amazed.
You are not alone in the world - I live in London as well and sort of new to my ileo. "Stephan" was born last November at University Hospital - I might be able to help you with tips and tricks for living with an ileo.
My lover of 8 years left me on Thanksgiving eve for another guy that doesn't have an ostomy. I am a bottom and he was a total top. After the surgery, we couldn't have sex anymore and he told me he couldn't hold out any longer. I am devastated and hurt to no end. I've cared for his children and been with him through thick and thin, but in the back of my mind, I saw it coming because I had the cancer, he didn't. I just have 2 questions and anyone that can answer these for me would be greatly appreciated.
Question 1: Are there surgeries for an artificial anus of some kind for anal sex if my anus was removed and sealed?
Question 2: Do people have sex with their ostomy and is that dangerous?
Thank you in advance for all responses.
2nd life,
I am so sorry for your devastated loss. Your former lover is a real 'sweetheart', but I am sure you know that. It will take time, but you will survive. Just think of what you have already survived. No one is worth more than yourself. Think of yourself, my friend. Well, to answer your questions, 1. To my knowledge, there is no form of artificial anus, but I am no authority on this, but 2) I can assure you that sex with an ostomy has not proven to be dangerous in any way, at least for me. Hang in there, my friend. Someday you will look back on the whole thing and realize that you are the better for it.
X_
To concur with MMSH,
I cannot comprehend toying around with your stoma, if you are talking about what I think you are.
I know when I had mine, (had a reversal, so no more stoma) I didn't even care to touch it myself, let alone have someone else fooling with it. I damn sure didn't want anything stuck in it. Surely, you can find some other way.
Good luck.
MMSH and Christiesdad,
Well, you know that was my first thought, but then I said to myself "No way, he can't really mean that". Just the thought of that is a theme for a horror film...oops.
X_
Hi Guy, sorry about your boyfriend.. I have learned the hard way that there is a lot more to life than holding on to someone who just wants to butt-fuck. Chances are that if he needed it that much, he was doing it behind your back anyway. I would just say use your imagination... There's a whole world of things two people in love can do besides butt-fuck.
To your question, no there is no such thing but you could find just about anything in a sex shop.
Take care buddy
| A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk. "I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive," she said. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?" "$50.00?? For a Frog??" asked the woman. The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs." Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so, she thought this was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog. She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift. Of course, the husband was a bit skeptical, but said for sure he'd try it out that night. The woman went to bed that night relieved knowing she'd never have to give another blow job. About two in the morning, she woke up to hear pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. She got up to go see what was going on. When she got to the kitchen she saw her husband and the frog, sitting at the kitchen table like best buddies, looking through cookbooks. "What are you two doing looking through cookbooks at this hour?" asked the woman. The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is outta here." |
Hello everyone... I'm a 44-year-old GWM. I've had an ileostomy since I was 19 years old. I would love to find others to talk to.
I feel very alone. Most guys are put off by me when I tell them, it sucks!
Everything is always fine up until that point.
I feel the same way! Sometimes, when I feel blue about not having sex the way I used to, I just remind myself that I already had my day in the sun with excessive, wild, crazy sex in the past. And now that I'm in my sunset years, I can focus on other joys in life...like watching the Crazy Rhubarb Lady!
@DerbySteve ........OMG ........LMAO!!!!!!!!! ............... I am so sorry, I hope you don't mind if I chime in here but at first I had some inspiring loving words to share with you guys, which I'm sure will return to my brain as soon as I can get a grip again LOL!!!!!!!! Forgive me, it's that video that has me cracking up SO hard I nearly slid out of my chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! .......omg my eyes are pouring water, why is that so dang funny lmao.....I am trying to save it to my comp so I can share with a few friends ...thank goodness I have 20 acres and my own rhubarb patch ... I actually know a couple ladies like this.............this is so crazy..........I don't know if I would have called 911 on them or just maybe pulled up a lawn chair with a can of beer to enjoy the show!! HA!.......somebody turn the garden hose on 'em, lol.
My heart is sending y'all tons of love and here's hoping you find all you seek from life, and from partners.........all the words are still a scramble in my head that I had originally wanted to write........but this tired old brain now only hears the above hilarious bickering.......I think I also now have my uplifting 'fix' for the eve LOL .......Cheers!!
~DOE
Hi AAirman
I can't pretend to know how you feel, but I do know what being different feels like.
Feeling alone and different is horrible. I hope that somehow things start to get better for you soon.
Jaystar, I can totally relate to feeling alone as a young ostomate and gay. I am in my 20's and doubt most guys can overlook it, but hoping to find the right one. You are cute too bad you live in Australia, haha.
Hello Airman.. gay guy from Australia... Have been an ostomate for 3 years.. still struggle with the loss/damage to my sex activity. Not an attractive image is it, for a sex partner to be confronted with an appliance. So my mainstay is now my health, the loss of sex has to be a secondary issue. My sex drive is the same as in the past, it's just the lack of contact, as I always wanted to be a one on one, not be a home j/off. Furthermore, I have always been very body conscious of my image, looked after myself, liked to look good and feel good, so again that is a matter I have had to deal with. If these are the same worries of yours, then let me know and we can chat about the more personal aspects. BUT, remember the health comes first! .... Cheers for now.. Robb.
Today I sent mail to AAirman. Afterwards, I came across so many letters on the sire relating to sex problems/concerns for gay men. As I only recently joined this group, I was not aware of these letters, many dating back some years, yet nothing more current than 2014 which surprised me. Many of the contributors are gay men that I would like to send mail to, so I hope this is okay with you guys. (Derbysteve, Mrbillyto, Turtlecreek1961, Transmissionman).
All letters offered encouragement and reminded AAirman that his health was most important over and above the loss of sexual activity. I know myself the impact I have had as he has, so it's not easily answered. When we do partner for sexual activity, the man with us needs to be special in the way he views the situation, how he responds to it, and can the sexual act be most satisfying to both of them.
I really believe that an ostomy appliance has more impact on a gay man's sex life than a heterosexual man, as only we know how important image, physical engagement, and the climax is, and that we need to continue our sex life, whereas a non-gay male probably accepts that his sex life is gone forever.
Robb.
Hello.. I am new to this site after wandering around came across your 2013 letter... I would like to hear from you if it suits you, as I would like to know how you have managed these past 2 years. I know what you were saying in your letter as I have been through the same situation. We ostomate gay men certainly go through a massive change in our sex life as we seem to brand ourselves as "untouchable" if we don't then the man we want to have sex with certainly sees us as that. I miss a sex partner so much masturbating alone at home does nothing for me. However, what is, is we have to accept that our health is the most important thing to us. Hope you're in good spirits, would like to hear from you... cheers for now... Robb.