Bag Interference During Intimate Moments: Any Solutions?

That would be the "boob tube"!!!
Well, it was in Oz and I have seen girls still wear them.
Excellent idea!

So as insane as it sounds, I found Bella Bands to be a life-saver (can easily be used by guys). First of all, they come in a bunch of colors and 3 sizes. They were designed for pregnant women, but work AWESOME during sex, swimming and just using them under clothes rather than using a belt. I must have 6 of them!

Only go with Bella Band though - there are other ones out there that LOOK cool (like Hip-tee) but don't work as well.

I also buy the smaller sized Gap pregnancy jeans, because they have this heavy, 4-inch wide band at the top - it sits right over the stoma. So fabulous! I buy them as shorts and skirts too.

You can also find black rouched top tankini bathing suits from Maternity shops, buy the size smaller. Then get tummy-control black underwear (which looks just like bathing suit bottoms). The extra heavy tummy control panel flattens down the appliance and bag and voila! No one can ever tell! I have even been able to wear a REGULAR bikini that had a wide waist band to the bottoms, that worked the same way.

For swimming, I live with Opsite Flexafix tape to "frame" my appliance. I have a swimming pool and live by the ocean and I can go swimming 2 to 3 times a day and it won't peel off, but also won't hurt my ultra-sensitive skin. It is basically Tegaderm, but on a roll. Awesome stuff! And I surf as well!

PEACE!

Thank you, girl. I love the info you are giving us. I would never have thought about maternity clothes. Plus, I love the Gap. I think I would feel better in my own skin if my clothes matched my makeup. I aimed to get my nails done today, but my husband is sick with a cold. I have been taking care of him. I am also going back to Xtreme Lashes for a while as I don't have time to get my mascara on every day. I will just do touch-ups for now until after my reversal in October. So cool you know about these things. I also used to work in the sex trade, and not selling toys. I think I bought more than I ever sold. But I was a Go-Go Dancer at the Hustler all through the 70's, and every time I went to see my real dad who was there, I had to stop in and make money for a few days. Larry was cool about that. I shop at the Hustler store every chance I get. Nice to meet you, and any tips you think of are appreciated. God bless, Jenny.

In my view, if you 'irrigate', then you do not have that bulky bag over your stoma. Instead, you have a cap which is too small to come in the way. Enjoyment is nearly full if you have the rest of the requirements in place.
Cheers
Anis from Calcutta, India

Go to Ostomy Secrets. Everyone that works there is an ostomate. They have perfect cover-ups in sexy colors. Talk with them. They are very helpful.

Hello everyone, new to the forum. I've had my colostomy since 26, I am now 53. Wow, time flies.
I have my share of hangups accepting it but find it refreshing reading on this board seeing others sharing some of the same things I go through both mentally and physically.
I found this thread especially close to home. Hope to add value and make new friends while learning from others.

Regards!
Alan.

I read this post the other night and immediately looked up Bella Bands. Bottom line is that I ordered one and it arrived today. I love it!!! Thanks for the info!

Hi, all. I'm new here and have only had my colostomy since May '09, but I have found a lot of tips and supplies online. I have both the Bella bands and Ostomy Secrets underwear and swim band. I love both products. I did find a pouch cover for intimate moments at Myheartties.com. I didn't buy one but used it as an idea to crochet my own pouch cover for when my husband and I have our intimate times.

I have to say that I have a wonderful husband who was so happy with the colostomy surgery I had that he wanted to send the surgeon a thank you card. He's not always been the most sensitive person, but he was willing to work through this. We've had to live with my Crohn's and all the complications that have come with it for the last 25 years. The ostomy gave me such a new lease on life, and our sex life that was practically non-existent before is now better than when we were newlyweds! The bag doesn't bother him at all, and he's just as willing to work around it as I am.

I know there have to be more non-ostomy people out there who are just as understanding, so don't give up looking for that special someone. Just give people a chance, and you may be surprised by what you find.

Hey folks..I've been an ostomate for 6 years now because of CD and I totally understand the insecurities and worry about sex with an ostomy. I'm a very sexual person, and have done lots of searching to find products or tricks that help to keep things out of the way and to make myself feel more attractive. There are a few good things out there that you can try. I find the waist bands the best. They are easy to put on, come in different colors and aren't too expensive. Check out some of the links I'm posting.
My best advice is this ... be upfront and honest about it. I tell people that I may potentially be intimate with well before we hit the bed. If they can't deal with it..then it's their loss! I have even put it in my profile on dating sites. Believe me, I haven't had any trouble getting laid!
Check out the sites...they have stuff for men and women..and some of them are really nice!!

http://www.stomawear.uk.com/waistband.htm

http://www.ostomysecrets.com/womenstyle.php

http://www.intimatemomentsapparel.com/women.html

http://www.vblush.com/intimacy/intimacy.htm

I posted about this in a different thread, but I'll post it again.
I wear a tight stretchy singlet top to bed, it can be slid down off the shoulders and rolled down so it holds my bag in nice and tight and out of sight.
I also have a black boob tube that I bought for the same purpose.

I only saw that she was back on site. But very nice to see that she is back. I hope that she gets better soon.

I have had an ileostomy for going on 25 years. About 7 or 8 years ago, I stumbled upon Ostomy Solutions and bought one of their belts. I can only speak for myself, but it changed my life in dramatic ways. I have since purchased several of their belts and wear one 24/7 - 365 days, with the exception of showering. Swimming, athletic activities, and especially intimate times have been transformed into stress-free activities. You will need to get used to wearing the pouch sideways, but when you take the belt off to shower, you will be shocked at how much gravity was pulling on the pouch without you even being aware of it. I don't work for this company, nor do I have a financial stake in it. I just really believe in these belts, and my wife has never been happier.

Hello all....when I first started dating after getting divorced, I was very nervous about how I would manage the "wild-thing" with a bag. So, I researched online and found www.whiterose.com...it's, a UK website that makes some sexy underwear along with everyday knickers for ostomates. I purchased a few lace numbers that were 2-piece ensembles. Not sure if they have similar for blokes on that site, but it's definitely worth a peep. I certainly had more confidence, even though the other party didn't have a problem with the bag. Now I'm in a relationship, nothing is necessary and "Stella," my bag, gets basically ignored. I just pick my times, so unfortunately spontaneity has gone out the window. But nevertheless, I've got my mojo back and I hope everyone else does too!!

ostomysecrets has a lot of garments for men and women

Yep.

But not all, just most of them, hopefully not including me.

                     

Not all men are jerks, just like not all women are jerks. I don't know if I've been lucky or what, but I've never had a guy care about my ostomy. When I tell them (and I always do it in a lighthearted way so that it's clear that it's not a big deal to me and therefore shouldn't be a big deal to them), they always ask these two questions:

1) Sooooo, you have a bag of poop on your side? (Me: If I don't empty it, yes) and
2) Does your vag still work?

I heard this awhile back and fully believe it: Any guy who walks away from you simply because of an ostomy is not a real man, and has no place in your life.

C.

I just want to back up CKNC on this one. I've been intimate with three men since I had my ileostomy, and each one asked:

a) What is that?
b) Does it hurt?
c) Can you still have sex?
d) (One guy asked this) Can it explode if we go deep-sea diving? I said "Not if I empty it first "=)

And then each one went on their own quest with YouTube and Google to find out exactly what it was, and if they could hurt it by accident by throwing me around the bedroom.

They can't hurt it.

Thanks CKNC, more people need to know - there is nothing to be afraid of.

HAHAHA fantastic! Does your vag still work? I would say, "Hell no!" It never worked a day in its life, as I'm not a hooker. And poor ole vag don't get paid. LMAO. Good luck, and it's great to know it's best not to freak others out. If we keep the sense of humor, people won't see you as an osty but a person. Cheers! Loved the read. Mooza Aust.

Hah, I like that about the working bit!! I'm going to remember that one!

I have had my bladder removed as I have a ileal conduit with a wee bag. Also, I have a permanent colostomy due to nerve compression in my lower spine. Once you have your bladder removed, you can't get an erection. With me, with my spinal injury, I can't feel much in that area. I am now disabled. But I have proved them wrong; I can still walk with a stick. My right side is weak, but I get around. All of this could have been avoided. I received a huge compensation, but my life has been turned upside down. I will get worse as I age. I am 56 now.

I haven't had any intimate moments since I've had my stoma,

and I don't think I will again. I couldn't even imagine telling a man I had a bag,

so Sister Leah for me from now on, lol.

Leah x

Leah!! Unacceptable :)

Please don't let your bag stop you from being intimate with someone. You deserve happiness and freedom after what you have already been through. Be brave, and be confident that most real men don't care if you have some extra tummy packaging.

It's scary as hell getting the information out of your mouth, but when they are good men and react by being more gentle with you, and doing background research so they understand your situation - well, you just end up wanting that man more than ever. And that's a good place to be. Please don't nun yourself up ;)

Jesus, I can't keep up with my girlfriend hahahhaha

Oh poor Liam, stop your complaining, we normal people don't want to hear about your escapades.

......................................................................

Good for you, keep it up.

I do, I do!!

Just kidding..

Sort of.. LOL

Hey Liam,

Guess your post, of which I was informed, didn't meet certain criteria, since it "doesn't exist", and admin must have deleted it.

Poor Agnoka, is missing out on the excitement.

But I'm glad that you can keep it up.

Cheers, Ed

Your sex life is only affected if you let it affect you. All you need to do is empty your bag before you go on the job and pretend it's not even there. An understanding partner won't even care. It has never affected me and never will. I'm not going to brag, but I tell them before I have sex that I have it and, to be honest, 9/10 don't even bat an eyelid. A problem only occurs when you lighten the problem. If you act confident and arrogant, then they don't see a problem. Trust me!

And that is a life lesson. Well said, you arrogant S.O.B. LOL

I know exactly how you feel

Stop supporting Chelsea :P That's stressful enough! ;)