"a Year In The Life"
i dont post as much on here as i used to and thats cause i dont feel i need to and thats because IM WELL, yes i wanna screem it fron the rooftops IM WELL.
ive been looking over my blogs from the past few years and its very interesting the stages ive gone through, learning all the way both taking and giving support.
last october when i lost barbara i came here, nothing to do with ostomy but i came here. i came here because at that time i wanted to be amongst friends and i soon found out i was.
if there are any new ostomates reading this blog as their first one then "come on in, pull up a chair and sit by the fire"this is where you will find folk to be alongside you in your saddest and happiest of days (and nights).
before i go any further with my "a year in the life of blueonthetyne" i wanna tell a little joke
"DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE GUY WHO WENT ON A FIRST DATE AND GOT LOST AND HAD TO RING THE LADY TO COME AND FIND HIM"
well the punch line is
"IM GLAD SHE DID"
im not gonna go day by day but i wanna touch on something that ive often read about on here but i guess it never really affected me, intimacy and the ostomate.
after the dust had settled last year i got throught christmas and felt very lost and on my own, maybe thats cause what i was.
many of my friends male and female are on the good old dating websites and i did post a blog with my first experience, it was all a laugh and i filed it under "life experience".
publishing this experience in a blog saying that i was gonna stick to coffee dates led to a lady from this site contacting me suggesting that i have a coffee date with her.
well before you all go getting ahead of yourslves, that day in feb i made what i hope is a lifelong friend, i know she will blush if she reads this ha ha but i also know that she knows i mean it, every month we meet to discuss all things ostomy but never do, we have dinner, laugh, joke have a beer then look forward to the next time, its what ostomates do.
after selling the family home and moving into a cosy little flat i was starting to move on and thinking a bit more about me, something id not done for quite a while.
i still cried every day at that point and there still arnt many days that i dont and i was starting to think about all those
"who would want me"
blogs i had read before.
ill move forward to march and i joined the internet dating game again.
i had decided my plan would be i would only tell them about the way i past my waste if they told me how they past theirs, can you imagine,
"hi my name is sharon, nice to meet you phil, i shyte twice a day and like my coffee black"
its never gonna happen so i was on safe groung there.
my first friday night on the site, a very well known one involving fish and alot of them i sat here at my lap top, wow......a long list of potential ladys all there as matches.
i sat there all evening chatting to a lady nearby about anything and everything then she says
"i feel i have to tell you something"
wow i thought
"ive had breast cancer and ive had a reconstruction, are you ok with this".
well i thought how wierd, here we are worried about our "thing"and sometimes we forget that others have their own stuff going on.anyway i thought right here we go,
"ahhh thats very sad but i guess your well now, by the way ive had my bowel removed and i have a bag"
never heard from her again ha ha, maybe i had a lucky escape.
that experience led me to think again about everything, being single,the bag,dating and shallow people.
since then ive had a short relationship with a nice lady, no bother with the ostomy but not the real thing in the heart, its a learnng curve.
"its whats in the heart what matters, not whats in the bag"
one thing i think i did find in that expeerience, when people are close in that way they can be over caring, its something barbara used to pick on when she was poorly,we want someone to make love to us not to be gentle and care for us, i know im good company here with a staement like that.
well ive said enough for now, im done for the night,
its nice to be back here