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Stevie

Posted by Angelicamarie

After reading jamie44 blog, I thought about my cousin Stevie. His mother, (Sarah) had 12 children.  I was told as a child that Stevie preferred to play with dolls and easy bake ovens  instead of trucks and cap pistols. The elders didn't seem to understand his odd behavior. All I knew was that I loved Stevie just the way he was. Stevie was older than me and more experienced in life so I sought his wise counsel on many occassions.


As we grew older, Stevie became ill. Initially, I didn't know what was wrong with him but the elders knew. He was hospitalized and I went to see him often. Let me say this up front, Yes, I knew Stevie was gay, but that  didn't stop me from loving him. Not long after being hospitilized, Stevie passed away. My aunt Sarah had preceded Stevie in death. My Uncle Saul, (Stevie's father) was still alive when he passed. Only about half of his family showed up to pay their respects. I assume that the other half chose not to show because of their own personal beliefs, and or opinions concerning his life journey or they didn't want to except him for who he was .


I hope Stevie found the love that he so desired before he left this world. So many of us are ostracized for being who we are. An ostomate, gay, cancer patient  and so on. First and foremost we are all human! Remember that, alright.


 


 


 


Regards,


angelicamarie

Comments:
Hello Angelicamarie. Thank you for sharing another thought provoking post on a subject that has so many underlying implications. I agree entirely with your take on this, as we are all human ( or at least most of us are!) and deserve to have love in our lives and be respected for what we are, rather than wheat others might want us to be.
Bill thanks for responding to Stevie, unfortunately we cant change the world but we can change ourselves. We can only be who we are, no matter what others feel. Angelicamarie
I absolute agree with you Angelicamarie. John
Hi scorsby, thanks for responding to my blog, have a great weekend! Angelicamarie
Angelicamarie, it is always so nice to hear from you, and I know this topic can be controversial. However, ever the most conservative evangelicals keep saying, "God made us what we are". Their only problem is they then go on to define "what we are" in THEIR own minds, not God's! If they would only go back to the BASE of what they are saying, they they have to recognize that God made Stevie and others like him WHAT GOD WANTED THEM TO BE! Just because that is not what THEY wanted has absolutely no bearing on the issue! My son Nick was born my daughter Zorah. He had difficulties with a lot of things going on in his life throughout high school and into college, and was in counselling for many years. In the process of exploring what was wrong in his life, and separating it from what was right in his life, he came to the conclusion he was trans-gender and was actually a man. I was very close to my child before all this, and after all this, and I have to say that in spite of testosterone treatments, surgeries, and all the rest - his is basically still the same person he was before. His personality is the same. HE is the same, except now he has facial hair and no breasts. If you met him for the first time, you would not know he was not born a man, except he is somewhat short and slender for a guy, and his voice (while lower than before) is still at the high range for a guy. Shoot, I know famous (male) singers with a voice as high as his! He is happily living life on his terms, engaged to a lovely (trans-gender) woman. Who better to know the trials and tribulations of that life? People who say "Oh, they've just been fooled into thinking they're the other gender and are just confused" have NO clue what they are talking about. NOBODY would CHOOSE to go to the trouble, expense, and problems with dealing with others who don't understand them if they were merely "confused" or "fooled". Nobody understand themselves like somebody who has had to intensely look inside themselves and try to discover just who they really are - and accept that about themselves, even if nobody else does. I am happy to say I love and support my son as much today as I loved him as my daughter years ago. If Stevie's father treated him the same way while he was alive, I can promise you that he went forth from this life knowing love, and it absolutely did not matter what the other half of the family chose to do or not do at the funeral. It was THEIR loss, not his.
Hi Newbie Dana, thanks for sharing your sons life. Oh how I appreciate that, I totally agree with you,who would go through the things that stevie and your son went through without knowing in their hearts who they were. Stevie's mother passed prior to stevie, thank god for unconditional love .Dana your so right it was there loss !! Thanks again for responding and sharing. Angel
Hi Angelicamarie, I apologize for the delayed response. I haven't been on MAO and am just catching up now. Your post had me reflecting on my extended family. My cousin is gay and his parents (my aunt and uncle) pretty much pushed him away for his choice. I suspected he was gay for many years, though it was never ever discussed. My uncle was and still is a rough and tumble guy who was a semi professional boxer in the late 50s. I feel sad that I have not spoken to my cousin in many years. I do not know where he lives as it is not discussed. I googled him but was unsuccessful. My guess is, he does not want to communicate with us nor does he wish to be found. Maybe he just walked away too. I can only imagine what it was like growing in their home. My hope is that he re appears one day and we have the opportunity to catch up. It would be a gift. Take care and thank you again for the post. Sincerely, LH
Thanks for sharing LadyHope, have a wonderful day! Angel


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