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Posted by Bill


I don’t want to ‘FALL’ in love.
For falling I have found.
Feels fine whilst you can float above.
But not when you hit the ground.

To fall’s to lose your self-control.
In only one direction.
Consuming body, mind and soul.
With almost no protection.

I’ve been there once or twice before.
And felt both thrill and pain.
So now I know that nevermore.
Would I want that again.

Every time I tripped and fell.
And love’s emotions spilled.
It simply made me feel like hell.
And love was not fulfilled.

So I began to think about.
The sort of love for me.
Not one for falling in or out.
Unsound emotionally.

I figured that companionship
Might well be the key.
To any good relationship.
That other’s had with me.

Within companionship there spring.
The seeds of love so strong.
That type of love will surely bring.
A love that won’t go wrong.

So I pondered on a list.
Of things that I could do.
To make a lasting love exist.
For me and maybe you.

That list became my way of life.
And proof of love proclaims.
For you became my loving wife.
Because you shared these aims.

B. Withers 2011

See all blogs by Bill
Jan 01, 2012
Primeboy : Life, like everything else, comes in stages; so, why shouldn't love? I was thinking of Frank Sinatra's hit song: When I was 17. As the narrator of that song grew in age, he really didn't mature, did he? It was all about scoring with increased sophistication. Falling in love has little to do with remaining in love or growing as a person. It's just a beginning. Companionship is a key component. Having each other's back comes in there, too, somewhere at the top. Allowing each other to become our own person can help immensely. The fireworks that come with infatuation are marvelous; but, let's face it, they are only a starting point on a long and hopefully happy journey.
Jan 02, 2012
Bill : Thank you all for your comments.This was not the easiest of poems to compile, especially as my wife (of 44yrs) will no doubt be reading it at some time. In my case there were few fireworks or infatuation to kick-start the relationship. It was based on working together in the service of others, friendship, mutual compatability, and shared aims. The concept is one of the continuous 'growth' of a love that increases in quality, strength and stability over time. It is also about a relationship that is appreciated incrementally with the passing of the years.I hope that everyone can experience that type of relationship at some time in their lives. Best wishes Bill
Jan 02, 2012
Primeboy : Well said, Bill; but don't wait too long before sharing this with your wife. Valentines Day is around the corner. This type of communication will go a long way in supporting the continuous growth you speak about.
Jan 02, 2012
Bill : Thanks Primeboy,With this type of relationship I feel confident that we don't have to wait for a designated day like Valentine's day to express how we feel. Best wishes Bill
Jan 02, 2012
Primeboy : Xerxes, I heard it said that Shakespeare expressed every human feeling and thought somewhere in his vast collection. Check out Sonnet 116 where he talks about the marriage of true minds. It's Bill's poem at the start of this thread that has the sonnet-like ring to it.
Jan 12, 2018
Bill : Hello magoo.
Goodness! you must have been trawling a long way back to have found this one. Anyway, thanks a lot for the appreciative comments.
As you can imagine, I always had problems and pain associated with emotional love and hence the poem. However, telling someone you don't love them is a bit like a REJECTION so I did investigate what would be a more productive alternative approach. I came up with some results from my research into people's relationships with their pets, which they assured me was one of the best, lasting relationships we could ever have. I distilled my results into a 'list', which I called my 'AIMS FOR TODAY' monitor. This is used regularly, because it has the potential for tracking whether I am doing well at the relationship or if I am falling short in some way (I have it on a score sheet from 1-10 on each item.)
My marriage has lasted over 50 years so we must be doing something right!
Although I use the 'AIMS for today' to guide all my other relationships as well.

1. To BE - THERE
5. To LISTEN: Empathetically
6. To keep things CONFIDENTIAL
7. To ENABLE & EMPOWER (DIY process)
8. To show POSITIVE REGARD (unconditional)
10. To FOCUS CARING (according to my principles)

I've enjoyed you recent posts very much.
Best wishes