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My Ostomy Gear

Posted by Bill


Since I had an ostomy
so many things have come to me.
Sometimes I think I’ll disappear
under all this osto-gear.

In days gone by I wondered why
old men wore their trousers high.
I could not imagine how it felt
wearing braces with no belt.

But now I have an ostomy
I understand this strategy.
The belt-line must be elevated
so stomas don’t get perforated.

This storyline does not end here
I wish to tell of all my gear.
All those things I use and wear
here are some that I will share.

Even I can be bemused
at the old belts that I have used.
Their height is just below my boobs
to seal the tops of drainage tubes.

Some other gear I can disclose:
elastic belts and pantyhose.
If hernias threaten I suppose
these must be worn beneath my clothes.

I don a cricket box of course
preventing scratching from pets claws.
Wet wipes, dry wipes, hair dryer,
none of these I had prior.

Big bags small bags, open and closed,
stick-ons, clip-ons and those to dispose.
Lotions, potions, barrier sprays,
enough to last for quite a few days.

Scissors straight and some with curve
so small round shapes we can preserve.
Adhesive removers, sprays and wipes,
everything comes in several types.

When I mess or make a smell
my ostomy won’t go down well.
With all this stuff around the house
I feel for my long-suffering spouse.

Rectal catheters, inco-pads,
all the very latest fads.
Odour neutralizers do their best,
household deodorizers fail the test.

And to house this equipment boom
I had to build a new bathroom.
A bit of planning often pays
for now we groom in separate bays.

Were I to venture from my door
I’d need these things and so much more.
Travel can be sometimes hard
that’s why I have a travel card.

Although this list may seem quite long
most of my stuff will quell the pong.
And getting rid of personal waste
will not be to most folk’s taste.

Forgive me if my mind will scoff
if just the thought can put you off.
Think of those less fortunate us
who daily cope without much fuss.

Count your blessings one by one
for ostomies are not much fun.
And I would give you all my gear
for your working guts my dear.

Bill Withers 2011

See all blogs by Bill
Jul 15, 2013
Mrs.A : Nice job Bill.
Jul 16, 2013
Bill : Hello Mrs A. Thank you for your comment. It feels good to get some feedback, especially when it indicates that someone has appreciated what they have read. Best wishes Bill
Jul 18, 2013
Bill : July 18, 2013 Hello LostRealist. I think that 'genius' is OTT but I do appreciate the fact that you liked the verse. When there is an urge to express oneself about such mundane issues we cannot expect others to be interested. However, there are people who will read rhyming verse and take in the gist of the storyline whereas they would not otherwise be interested in this sort of subject matter. Hopefully it might give a few ordinary people a lighthearted look into our world. Best wishes Bill
Jul 23, 2013
hometown : excellent job I always enjoy your poems hometown
Jul 23, 2013
Bill : Hello gsamp51 hometown.Thanks for your comments. I always look forward to seeing who has actually appreciated a verse enough to post a comment. It is also interesting to note how many comments there are in relation to how many people have viewed each verse. There appear to many people who are non-participant spectators but it is very supportive to those (such as myself)to recieve some sort of definite (and hopefully positive) feedback on the stuff shared in blogs.I suppose it's a bit like an 'entertainer' who puts their material out to an audience and just hopes for a response. Those responses are partly a motivation to create more. Best wishes Bill
Jul 23, 2013
Bill : Hello gsamp51, Thanks for your comment. I have experimented on occasions with non-rhyming poetry but It never quite had the rhythm as the rhyming ones so I tend to stick with this now. I've written so many on ostomy related stuff that I'm beginning to wonder if there is much more left to versify. However, I do have one or two more that I will post as and when the present one disappears from the screen. It somehow doesn't seem appropriate to post them in quick succession as I believe that this type of rhyme needs to be read with some time separation between poems.How about posting some of your work - I'd love to read some of it. Best wishes Bill
Jul 23, 2013
Bill : I have looked on the cosmofunnel site for your work but there does not appear to be an internal search engine (maybe it requires the reader to sign up for this) Nonetheless I looked at many poems and artwork on the site and found myself being pleasantly distracted. Best wishes Bill
Jul 24, 2013
Bill : Helo Gail, Thanks for the address/link - unfortunately the cosmofunnel site still wouldn't let me in to see your poems without signing up --so I did that and perused your work. I was very impressed and liked both your pictures and your poems.way back in 2002 I collaborated on a book with an artist who painted 'social issues'. She did the oil paintings and I wrote the verses to capture the sentiments. The combination of pictures and poetry is a very pleasing complimentary way of expressing an idea and I feel you have achieved this very well in your work. Keep it up! Best wishes Bill
Jul 24, 2013
Bill : Hello Gail, No need to thank me for reading your poems and pictures - the pleasure was all mine.Best wishes Bill
Jul 24, 2013
mara727 : lovely poem
Jul 25, 2013
Bill : Hello mara727. Thank you so much for your feedback as it means a lot. I'm pleased you liked it. Best wishes Bill

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